Build Emotionally Healthy Relationships This Year

A new year, a new season.  What if, this year, you could experience more inner peace, closeness with others, and connectedness with God?  Grace Capital Church (GCC) has a course that can help: Emotionally Healthy Relationships (EHR) is a Life Group beginning on January 16th.  

When Vicki Therrien, a GCC member, took the EHR course, she said “I learned that I was an ‘emotional infant’ and ‘emotional child’ in some categories”.  Discovering this through taking the Emotional/Spiritual Health Inventory at the beginning of the course triggered feelings of disappointment.  “I am 70 years old and have been a committed Christian most of my life, that included completing many Bible studies, reading many Christian books, counseling, and attending recovery groups.  I needed help to become a more spiritually mature adult. So I was in the right class.”

Emotionally Healthy Relationships is an 8-week course providing a safe atmosphere, grounded in confidentiality, that can help transform your relationships and your life as you grow in your ability to love God and love others. It focuses on experiencing inner change as members move deeper in their spirituality. 

As Peter Scazzero, the course curriculum co-creator explains, if we each are like an iceberg, what we see on the surface is only a tenth of who we are.  The course helps us discover the other ninety percent so we can be, as one of the GCC core values states, our authentic selves. 

We are created in God’s image with a full spectrum of feelings.  Vicki learned that “Jesus freely expressed his emotions without shame.  He was anything but ‘an emotionally frozen Messiah’.  I have since learned to express my feelings in a healthier way.  It was enlightening to realize Jesus experienced a  range of emotions that  I never thought about in the past. I thought Christians needed to promote peace at all costs and give endlessly to show love”.

A tool that helps course members see and understand more of the iceberg below the surface is a Genogram, a diagram exploring the specific traits and behaviors of three or four generations of family members.  As the curriculum teaches, “Jesus is in your heart, but grandpa is in your bones”.  Vicki reflected, “I felt comfort and freedom when I learned about behaviors from my family of origin”.  This growing self-awareness empowered her to make lasting changes to patterns she followed her whole life.  

One thing Vicki identified is that, as a workaholic and people pleaser, “I internalized my worth and value by what others thought of me.  I needed to be seen by others as ‘good’”.  She avoided conflict and vulnerability with her emotions. Opening up and honestly sharing her weaknesses and struggles in the class came more easily because “the leaders are transparent with their shortcomings and needs,” Vicki shared.

Often, what we do or say comes from a place in our hearts we cannot always see or understand. Proverbs 18:4 says it this way “the words of a man's mouth are deep waters”.  Only God knows the depths of the heart and only He can heal. 

Through the Day By Day devotional provided, course members are guided in connecting with God’s heart where profound transformation can be experienced, leading to healthier relationships and a more abundant life. 

“My life is extremely hectic and it was important for me to learn to stop periodically, hear from God, and get filled up to fulfill the tasks God calls me to. God is always with us, but stopping periodically to seek His face through quiet and stillness helps me stay on the right path and not get distracted from experiencing God’s presence throughout the day,” explained Vicki. 

As another GCC core value points out, “we belong and function as a family”.   But relationships are messy and hard to navigate.  “I had no idea how to handle conflict.  By learning terms and phrases like ‘I’m puzzled’ and ‘I prefer’, I discovered how to express my God-given voice instead of stuffing my feelings; and I learned to stop mind reading and clarify expectations,” Vicki shared. 

“If you want to experience true freedom then join this class,” she encouraged.  Even if you are not ready to open up, growth can happen simply by showing up, listening to the videos, and watching peers put new skills into action.  “You will be able to relate to others who may be experiencing similar life experiences and gain support,” she said.  

A second group is also being offered in January: The Emotionally Healthy Woman, which Vicki, who has taken EHR twice, will be leading.  Vicki explains that this course is for any woman thinking “I can’t keep pretending everything is fine!”